Open Letter to the IOC

Dear Olympic Committee,

I do love the Olympics (IE. Men's gymnastics), but I am proposing a children's-oriented Olympics. I present to you the following events:

0-12 months:
-Spitting up - 2 categories of 'Consistent aim', and 'Volume'.
As in, always my left shoulder so I have run out of nice shirts to wear. Only *today* did it occur to me to wear my ratty shirts. Keep in mind Susan is 3 months now.

-Burps after a feeding - 2 categories of 'Number of burps' and 'Decibels'.
My little one likes to sound like a teenager after chugging a can of Coke.

-Farts - 2 categories of 'Smell' and 'Decibels'

-Diapers- 2 categories of 'Stink' and 'Decibels'. Have I mentioned that my little one does not do anything quietly except sleep?

Toddler:
-Whining. I'm talking Jim Carrey in 'Dumb and Dumber' making "the most annoying sound in the world" quality

-Feeding. This can include longest time spent eating a teeny-tiny amount of food. Also, you could include the most amount of food in mouth before gagging.


Then there are the tandem events with parents, like:
-Making it to an appointment on time
-Grocery shopping with 2 kids
-Feeding 2 hungry kids at the same time
-Getting a potty under a child as she's about to pee on the floor
-Cleaning up after a toddler - This is more of an endurance event, as it lasts from 7am to 7pm.

You may not know this, but some parents I know have been continuously training day in and day out. They're quite dedicated.

Anyway, I hope to hear back from you soon with your ideas.

Sincerely,
Idania